A Very Sad Day

Once upon a time I wanted a dog, more then anything. Not just any dog, but a Puggle. My heart was set. If there was anyone who could talk me out of this I dared them to stand in my way, including my husband. He gave in and we got Lily. The most adorable puppy there ever was. She literally stopped traffic with her incredible cuteness. She was our baby and we loved her to pieces.

One day we had a real baby. One that made us change the way we felt about our dog immensely. Lily had to be constantly managed. You could never leave anything anywhere for fear of her eating it. She stole all snacks & food she could get her little paws on. She woke the baby up constantly. We spent all our time trying to keep her quiet and calm. We stopped enjoying taking her places. She would bark and whine and make all experiences less fun and more challenging. She ate each and every favorite pair of jeans I have ever had.

We found ourselves yelling at her all the time. Not wanting her around, not wanting to walk her, wishing she would just go away. Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE this dog but the frustration she was bringing was over-weighing the love all the time. The hardest part for me was watching the way John felt about Lily change to the point of hatred. He didn't seem to have a place in his heart for her at all anymore. She was causing more stress to the family then one dog ever should.

Finding Lily a new home has been an ongoing discussion we have been weighing for three years. Really the love I have for this dog is my biggest reason for wanting to get rid of her. She deserves better parents then we were to her. She deserves to be walked all the time and played with and to receive positive attention. She deserves to be loved, she really is a great dog aside from the result of our neglect of her.

Over the last few days she has pooped on our floor about 10 times, she has never done this before. I took this as a sign, it is time for us to go our separate ways. Over the last 3 years we have offered her up to everyone that has shown any interest in having a dog but we have found no one who wanted her. Last night I posted an ad online and within the first 2 hours I got about 45 replies from people begging to be the one to take her, each pleading their case as to why their family would be best.

I picked one, a family that has a stay at home mom, two little boys, 4 and 8 years old and a 6 month old lab. After much discussion with the family back and forth I knew in my heart that this family was the right one for Lily. She would LOVE to have a dog sibling to wrestle with on a daily basis. She loves labs. And little boys? She is going to be in heaven. They walk their dog all the time and take it with them where ever they go. The family is beyond excited to add Lily to their family. I feel like they can give her everything we can't.

So she is gone now. Regardless of the fact that I have been crying for two days over this I knew it was the best thing in my heart and as soon as she pulled away in their car I was totally certain. She is going somewhere she will be much happier.

And if I don't absolutely die over my guilt and loss, I know I too will be happier in the end. To think back on how hard my life was with Lily when Ava was born I just know this is the best thing going into this next phase in our life with a new baby. I am really trying to make peace with this decision, it is one of the hardest ones I have ever had to make.