Crazy Love Gamble-Style

I'll be honest, I've been in a total funk lately.   This stay at home mom stuff can be a bit isolating and lonely.   I'm not saying I don't love it, because I 100% do.   I just really need to talk to other adults and have sanity breaks from my kids.  That's where the running & the yoga help me so much.  Not for the loneliness factor, but for the mental part.  It keeps me sane.  And focused on ME, which is such an easy part of the mix to lose when all you do is help these little demanding people all day.   I didn't go to yoga for a week and I swear I felt like I was falling into a depression.  But I went tonight and I feel so much better.  Yay. I also got to talk to one other adult today, D'Auna, my sister in law, whom I adore.  She is such a blessing to me.  And the girls can't get enough of Alayah of course too! The girls & I also went on our typical walk around the block....

I'd like to interrupt this daily scheduled never-ending photos of our trip (don't worry, they will resume soon...I know you are thrilled!) to talk about Ava for a minute. I can not believe how much she is growing up!  She is so amazing it's ridiculous.  She is sweet, caring, thoughtful, respectful, generous, funny, witty, helpful, fun to be around and just plain awesome.  I adore her. She is so helpful, not by choice necessarily, I MAKE her help me all the time.  Oh and I don't feel bad about it.  At all.  She helps me clean the house (pick up toys) about 3 times a day.  She cleans her room (which is CRAZY MESSY) at least once a day.  She also puts away all her own laundry.  She recently started taking showers, by herself, even washing & conditioning her own hair.  She now picks out all her own outfits (which I resisted for the longest time) and can completely get herself ready, including brushing her own hair (if it's not too cr...

OK, half the time I feel like this blog is a lie. Well not a lie, just a half truth. I wonder about perception & how people see us.  If THIS is what they are going off of what does our life look like?  You only see what I choose to share.  And just like in real life, I choose to focus on the good, so you won't find much bad here.  Some may seep in every now and then but that's just because HOW CAN IT NOT??? But this blog?  It's not the whole story.  It's just not.  For now, it's all about the kids. My best friend says that everyone wants my life, that it is perfect, that I am spoiled.  But the word spoiled implies that I am ruined by, not lifted up by the things I am blessed with. I am given more then I deserve.  I am so very thankful for the generosity of the wonderful people in my life. I am very happy, which I believe is a choice. I choose for my focus to be on gratitude, faith, finding the good in situat...

I know I talk a lot of smack about my kids and I know you know that I love them like crazy no matter what not-so-nice things I say, but I think I'm starting to realize that I don't give them enough credit for how GOOD they are.  When we're around some children  (not your kids I swear!)  it makes me think that mine are complete angels.   They can do no wrong, or at least by comparison  they are nearly perfect.    For kids.  I think Ava likes to be the "good one" just because she doesn't necessarily get to be that at home,  she loves that role.  I know that about her so I play  off of that, trying to encourage her to be good all the time . Norah likes being naughty, she thinks it's really funny, but she is so darn cute that even when she is being really naughty you can't think ill of her.    I'm pretty sure they make them that cute to keep you  from killing them, ...

Today was hard, to put it mildly. Some days parenting brings me to tears, this was one of  those days.  I don't know what it is.  Ava is the sweetest most loving girl.  She can charm the pants off of just about anyone and has a million perfect little qualities...BUT She is driving me bat-shit crazy lately. She KNOWS she is driving me crazy and it seems to just fuel the fire.   Yes, I know what you are thinking, she needs more  attention.  This girl is demanding attention every. single. second.  With out fail, she is asking for something at  all times.   Usually you can find her on me, physically on me.   She is loud, totally obnoxious, sassy, back-talking, instigator of all kinds of trouble, liar, wild and  constantly disrespectful. I am at my whits end.   I talk to her about all these issues until I am blue in the  face, I explain what s...

These kids are driving me crazy. And it has nothing to do with the fact  that I couldn't ever get them both to look at me at the same time for these photos.  No, I'm talking about stubborn, naughtiness that is just too much.  I tell Ava to do something and she just looks at me and says "No.  I'm NOT doing that."  What?  How is that possibly acceptable??  I don't understand why she is not more scared of me yet?!  I try so hard....: )  But seriously, she is so difficult right now.   You know how I made her those cool school  books that she could use dry erase on, she is  now acting like it's a fate worse then death if  I try to get her to work on them.  I wanted her  to love doing them, she actually did at first.  I have been also working on getting her to do  something, anything, independently.  She is pinned to me ALL. DAY. LONG.  She used to s...

Ava is nearly four now.   Wow. I was looking back on our relationship through these last four years and it is  funny how things have changed. When she was a tiny baby,  actually really for the first few years, I thought she was perfect. I took pride in that, since I  basically molded her into this perfect  little person. I would look at her in all her innocence  and loving ways and just not be able to imagine a time when we would have  any conflict between us. Hahahahahahahahaha! Ha. Well, lets just say her third year was  different.   Ava is still an amazingly awesome little girl. She steals the hearts of most people that  she meets.  She is loving, caring and super  sweet.  She loves her friends and family fiercely.  She is happiest when out and about, always seeking new adventures. She adores her sister and takes such great care of h...

I have come to a conclusion.   Puke = Love Your child comes to you for comfort, thus proving that YOU are what they  consider comfort, that is love. Then they puke all over you, head to toe in orange chunks. This is love. You don't get mad, your heart breaks for them that they feel sick. So you sit there in a puddle of puke and feel love not anger but empathy, that is love. As you scrub chunks off all your child's clothes and bedding and do endless amounts of laundry without getting mad,  at times even laughing to yourself, that is love. Your older child all the while yelling at you oh-so-helpful commentary like: "You are NOT getting that on my carpet are you MOM???" "She is about to puke again MOM!!!" "She did it mom, she just puked again!' And you don't kill THAT child, And that also is LOVE.   Puke = Love

 We are having a nice weekend. One thing we have noticed is how much better Ava seems to be doing lately. She is back to actually wanting to please us and make us happy. Not every second, but most of the time.  Having a new sister has been hard on her and for awhile there it seemed she was after our attention in the negative sort of way. I have been trying to keep my focus on her and more and more the focus goes to Norah who is unbelievably cute & always doing new things.  But rather then just getting naughtier,  Ava has actually been trying to impress us with her awesomeness, which is an old hat for her.   We are beyond happy with this turn of events. In true form, now that I have said it out loud things will probably change. She will most likely be awful tomorrow. But I am willing to take that chance, because really?  Her awesomeness needs to be recognized, one way or the other. ...

 Erik is staying home with Colton again, which makes us jump up and down!  More play dates!  Yay! Last time Erik stayed home with Colton things didn't go so well.  Erik went crazy, Colton went crazy. Lots of alcohol was consumed, mostly by Erik.  But this time things are going to be different.   Not necessarily less alcohol consumption,  just more successful overall. Poor little Norah wanted so badly to play like the big kids! She watched She got jealous. I think this new adventure is going to be really good for the two of them.  Erik made the decision to approach this stay at home Dad thing differently this time.  Rather then trying to accomplish things and having Colton  entertain himself, Erik is going to just focus on Colton.  They have been doing fun things together everyday, making  an effort to get out of the house and find new adventures. ...