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Sunday, February 21, 2010

I can't hear you, I don't like what you are saying.

I don't listen. Not when I don't like what I am hearing. I file it away in my brain hoping to not have to revisit that information.

I have been struggling with this Grandpa-move for sometime now. Ever since I took on the project of helping to find a new place for him to live I have felt personally responsible for his happiness. That feeling has only increased along the ride.

I was told he would resist.

I was told this would be really hard on him and that it wouldn't go so smoothly.

I was also told it would take time.

Well I don't like those things.

That doesn't work for me.

I was determined to find the most perfect place where there would be no doubt of his happiness.

And I did it, I found THAT PLACE. He would have to be happy, no question.

So we got him all moved in yesterday and settled.

Everything was perfect.

Then it turns out all that crap people were warning me about was true.

He hates it, he is already looking for a way out. He is resisting everything.

This is killing me.

I KNOW that in time he will like it there, will he ever love it? I don't know. I really hope so.

All I know, for now, is that I have to figure out a way to let go of this feeling of being personally responsible for his happiness, it is more then I can handle. All I can do is be there and help in all the little ways that I know mean so much to him.

I feel like my emotions have been on a long horrible roller coaster ride where one second I am sooo happy and the next I am crying again, swallowed with worry.

The ride keeps circling, I just need to figure out a way off of it.

Please can we just fast-forward to that happy place???

Please?

On a lighter note some of this experience has been pretty funny.

Grandpa has two beds, one is a really old but never-hardly-used guest bed. He could only keep one bed as he moved into his new place so we offered to upgrade him to the newer looking bed. He says "oh no, the other one already has my indent in it."

Um, this is WHY John and I replace our beds : )

Oh and the plunger, this was funny too.

I find a plunger to be one of those things that when you NEED it you are really happy it is there. I happened by the plunger section in Fred Meyer and grabbed one to bring home to Grandpa. As I was putting it away Grandpa looks all mad and says "I DON'T NEED THAT!" I will call the front desk if I need my toilet plunged.

Really? Really?

Do you always have time to wait it out??

All I know is that flushing it over and over without plunging it is no solution, if you don't believe me, just ask my husband. : )

3 comments:

Rhi said...

Oh Sarah I know how hard you have worked on this and how much you want to help Grandpa. I hope he will be able to relax a little and give it a try. It really sounds like an amazing place, but you can only lead a horse to water....

Sarah said...

The horse is sitting, drinking the water with a smile on his face, while planning the get-a-way. He sat me down yesterday and said "Sarah I just want you to know that I really appreciate everything that you have done, this is a great place but I don't want you to be too disappointed when it doesn't work out. The jokes on you g-pa. You may be looking for a way out but there IS NO BETTER PLACE. Enjoy your DAMN green grass.

Rhi said...

naughty horsie!