Tricky concepts for a 3 year old, or a 34 year old.

Grandpa's health recently took a turn for the worse.
He had a pill that burst in his throat and then
aspirated in his lungs, causing him pneumonia.

We decided it was time to get hospice involved.
He just wasn't comfortable at all and we knew they could
ease some of that pain and discomfort.

I still believe he is going to live a lot longer but he really
wasn't looking so good there for awhile. They warned
us at one point he wouldn't make it through the night.

Once hospice got involved he has had a bit of an
upswing. His health has stabilized and he seems
much more comfortable.

This whole process really got me thinking about how
Ava is going to take it when he does go.
She has grown quite close to him since he moved
here. We tend to visit him a couple times a week
and she asks about seeing him pretty much every day.

I decided to explain to her that grandpa is very old
and he is sick and he is likely to die pretty soon.

She was shocked.

She was really sad but I explained that he had led a
long good life and that everyone dies eventually.

She was even more surprised at that concept.

"Will I die??"

Well yes Ava you will die but not until you lead a full
long, long, long life. You are very young and strong
and healthy. You will have children and then they will
have children and you will become a grandma. You
will grow to be very, very old before you die.

She seemed okay with the whole thing, or at least as much
as one can be.

Honestly I understand that all people die but
the thought of certain ones dying is far more then feel I
could ever handle.

Later that evening as Ava got ready for bed I could hear her
in her room talking to her daddy. "Daddy did you know that
all people die??" She said somewhat cheerfully. He was surprised
at her bringing this up and she started elaborating on all that we
had discussed. Next thing you know I hear her SCREAM
"I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!!!"

Oh no, this is soooo not how I wanted this to go.

I have been reading up and asking for advice on how to
better prepare her now that I see I am clearly freaking
her out.
I explained heaven to her.
I told her that when we die everyone goes to heaven.
You can still talk to them when ever you want.
They watch over you and keep you safe.
Someday we will all be together again.
It's a beautiful thing.

She liked that.
I'm not sure I believe that or not but I think people need
something to hold on to. Losing loved ones is far too difficult to
deal with, sometimes you just have to hold on to hope & prayer.
It is comforting thinking they are watching over us, not really gone.

I say I am not sure that is how it goes but then again, I am CERTAIN
my grandma has been watching over me since the day she left.

So there is that.

Ava told my mom today "Grandma did you know that before I die
I will go to Disneyland over and over and over and over again??"

I'm pretty sure that translates to her getting the fact that she has
a long beautiful life ahead of her : )

As for the rest of it, we will have to deal with it as things happen.
Even though it hasn't gone so smoothly, I am still glad we
have started talking about it, I think she needs to be prepared.

And that makes two of us.