Yikes.

Ava is nearly four now.  

Wow.

I was looking back on our relationship

through these last four years and it is 

funny how things have changed.

When she was a tiny baby, 

actually really for the first few years,

I thought she was perfect.

I took pride in that, since I 

basically molded her into this perfect 

little person.

I would look at her in all her innocence 

and loving ways and just not be able

to imagine a time when we would have 

any conflict between us.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ha.

Well, lets just say her third year was 

different.  

Ava is still an amazingly awesome little girl.

She steals the hearts of most people that 

she meets.  She is loving, caring and super 

sweet.  She loves her friends and family

fiercely.  She is happiest when out and about,

always seeking new adventures.

She adores her sister and takes such great

care of her. 

Okay now all that being said, she tends 

to butt heads with us, her parents, constantly.

It might have something to do with a new sibling

or whatever but age three has been challenging.

Her desire to please us vanished.

She actually finds JOY in pissing us off now,

she thinks it's hilarious.

She is purposely defiant several times a day.

One of her favorite things to say is 

"I do things my own little way"

She says it in a sing-song voice,

totally knowing it bugs us.  : )

Just as I took credit for her perfection,

I also take credit for all these fun new behaviors.

I am not perfect, in any way, shape or form.

I react poorly and yell more then I should.

I manipulate & bribe whenever I am not getting 

my way.  I get way too frustrated at stupid

little things. 

Mine & Ava's relationship isn't all bad,

we both tell each other we love each other

a million times a day.  We enjoy each others company.

We play together and I try to incorporate teaching

into most every thing we do.

Often I find that I end up learning from her.

She is a perfect mirror of who I am, how I am 

acting, what I am putting out there.

I'm determined to see better behavior out of Ava 

this year.  I'm hoping I can help her get there.

I know this starts with me.

I must demonstrate better behavior too.

I'm going to try to be a lot more patient

and stop yelling and losing my cool when 

I am frustrated.

It's funny because I was just saying how I

am surprised she still throws fits.

But you know what?  When I really think

about it SO. DO. I.

Yikes.

Thankfully she still tells me that

I am the best mommy in the world. 

I really want to be that for her, 

with all my heart,

for both of them.