Back to The Springs

Nearly every day we drive by The Springs, 

where Grandpa used to live.

Ava always points it out to me, 

"Look Mom!!  That's The Springs!  Where Grandpa used

to live!!"  Then she gets quiet, "But he died.  But we can 

still go there and visit the other old people, Linda is going

to take me back there some day..."

For eight months I have had that same conversation, 

over and over.

So yesterday Linda was coming for a visit & we 

decided that this should be The Day.  

"Ava, Linda is coming over today, we are going to go to 

The Springs and have lunch"

She looks at me like I have completely lost my mind.

"Mom, I'm so sorry, you can't go with us."

Apparently this was an "Ava & Linda" thing, little 

did I know.  She is always looking for ways to 

get away from me, which I really can't blame her.

So many days I feel the same way : )

But I did want to go.  There were so many people that lived

at The Springs that we grew attached to in the time 

Grandpa lived there.  I also knew that it might be hard

on Linda to go back to such a place filled with bitter sweet 

memories, the last days of her father.

Finally Ava acquiesced and I was "allowed" to join them.

It was weird being back there.  The place looked just the 

same but he was not there.  The place doesn't really 

represent Grandpa to me, so much of the time he was 

kicking and screaming through the process.  But then it 

also does represent him in other ways.  There were so many

nice days we spent together there too.  I miss him so much.

But I am also glad he has peace now.  

We got to see many old friends and you could see that the 

joy Ava & Norah brings to them is still just as strong as ever.

I really should bring them in there more often, they are like puppies

for sick people.  They can change the whole day of someone that

just gets to look at them.  Maybe I'm too close to them to see it, 

that charm is a little lost on me.  Don't get me wrong, they are 

cute and all and there are moments when I can't imagine them not

melting every heart around them.  They can really ham it up and 

delight even the most skeptic non-kid person.  

But this was different, just their littleness and cuteness was

bringing joy to people they wouldn't even look at, the ones

they were shying away from.  It makes me remember the 

fact that it was always this way when we used to go there

a million times each week.  It almost makes me feel guilty 

for not bringing them in for the last 8 months, like I have 

been withholding what they all need.  

So maybe I will try to work The Springs back into my routine

a little, maybe a lunch here or there every now and then.  

That is if Ava lets me join her...one never knows : )