Parenting the Second Time Around

Yes, I did it. I sent them off to grandma's for the

night. I needed to catch up on my sleep and she
offered. Funny thing is I could of NEVER let Ava
go for the night this young.

(Mom tells me Norah slept from 10pm-6am, seriously?
she NEVER does that for me!!)

I guess everything really is different with the second child.

When Norah drops her binky on the ground we simply
wipe it off on our jeans and pop it back in her mouth.

She doesn't get a bath everyday or different jammies
each night. Often we just sleep her in whatever onesie
she is wearing when it is time for bed.

We aren't worried about the fact that Norah isn't
EXCLUSIVELY breastfed whereas with Ava
if she got one drop of formula I would of felt like I
was poisoning her.

We don't ogle over every little coo.

These things might be different this time around but
overall it is just nice to be relaxed about what is happening.

The second time around isn't so stressful. You have
already broke most of the rules you set out for yourself
the first time around that just didn't work out.

I didn't care that Norah had to be in our bed for the
first few months whereas with Ava it stressed me out.
Funny as we didn't worry so much about it we were also
able to get her out of our bed much sooner.

I don't freak out in the car when Norah cries, I look
over at Ava and think, she did the same thing and
she turned out all right.

Norah is easy compared to the complexities of raising
Ava. Ava argues, negotiates & manipulates.
She throws fits, she lies, she makes huge messes
constantly.

It is funny when we started this parenting gig I would

look down at my sweet little baby and think, I can't imagine
her ever hating me. My love for her was so strong that
I couldn't imagine ever being really mad at her.

Now, as she has grown into this mini-adult with a mind
of her own and little desire to do things our way it is all
a totally different playing field. I can definitely see her
hating me someday. I hope that never happens but now
I see it as a possibility where before she was so sweet
and innocent that I couldn't imagine anything but over
the top love for each other.

Not saying we don't love her like crazy, because we
most certainly do. I just didn't see the level of frustration
that she now creates coming.

I sometimes find myself arguing with her and getting
so worked up that it turns into a screaming match and
I feel like the worst parent ever.

I work hard to not let those moments happen and I
really try to learn from them.

So maybe Norah will benefit from some of the
consequences of being the second child.

Maybe we will be so broken down from Ava
by the time Norah is 3 that we will let her do
whatever she wants...just kidding.

I would like to think we will have honed our skills
by then to be able to handle the whining, manipulation,
tantrums, and negotiations a little better.
We will be ready for all that fun stuff and not
get so frustrated, or blindsided.

It is funny I always saw these behaviors in other
people's children but I didn't think our sweet little
perfect angel had it in her...oh boy was I wrong!

Fortunately Ava continues to surprise me in wonderful
ways on a daily basis too. She is the sweetest, most engaging,
hilarious, caring, wonderful child I know.

Norah is so lucky to have her as a big sister and
we couldn't be more blessed to have them both!

All that being said, they sure do keep us on our toes!

I did try to make Ava promise to only teach Norah
the good stuff, we will see how that works out... : )