Bitter Sweet

We just rolled over midnight so,
Today is Ava’s birthday.

I couldn’t be more thankful that I have Ava.

She is my heart.

She fills my days with laughter

She challenges me on a daily basis.

She surprises me constantly.

Ava has the best heart and 9 times out of

10 the very best intentions.

 She loves, she loves HUGE.

I adore watching her with all the wonderful

people in our life. She embraces them

with such strong pure love.

She IS happy, she is what happiness looks like.

Not every single second of course,

but so much of the time.

This evening we decided to sleep Norah in

her little portable crib in Ava’s room

since Bob & Barbie are staying with us for

a few day.

We let Norah settle in and go to sleep first.

When it was time to sneak Ava in I carried

her into her bed, the little crib situated

right next to her head.

The look on Ava’s face when she saw our

sweet little sleeping baby was over the top

pure joy. She leaned real close to me and

said “Mom, she is just so sweet!” Ava looked

thrilled.

I tucked Ava in and headed out the door,

looking back to see Ava just staring at her

baby sister, completely taken by the love

she has for her, it was the cutest thing.

So today was my last day of Ava being 3,

she tells me she won’t remember being 3,

that she has already forgotten most of it.

I really hope that is not true.

If it is true and she forgets all the details of

this last year together I suppose that is ok.

I think she know just how much she means to

us, details or not. That love we have for her

has become such a strong part of who she is

that no matter what she remembers or forgets

she will always know that she IS our heart.

I don’t know what I ever did to deserve such

and amazing little girl to hold my hand through

life, to make me laugh and love fiercely each day.

But today I am a little sad, because that little girl

isn’t as little anymore.

Four years old, bitter sweet, but mostly

overwhelmingly BEAUTIFUL.